Part 201: Chapter the Fourth: I hate Extra Time.

Chapter the Fourth: I hate Extra Time.
October 1, 2026-November 1, 2026




Always nice to start the month with some awards. But I sense something unwelcome coming around...

At West Bromwich Albion, October 3, 2026
Premier League


Fun fact: West Brom has never beaten us in my tenure. Ten matches, nine losses, one draw.

Starting Formation: 4-2-3-1 Control
Starting 11: Minami, Cirjak, Hammatt, Tounkara, Loseille, Maloney, Bailey (c), Parr, Allan, Damgaard, Thiago.
Subs: Kocsis, Mattuschka, Quiboulaz, Zouaghi, Ünsal, Mercado.

Thiago wastes four chances in the first 10 minutes, and then biffs another in the thirtieth minunte. So of course five minutes later he scores on a free kick. That Thiago.

Just before the half Daniel Maloney comes out of the game with an injury. That could be real trouble if it's serious. He's our first choice as a defensive midfielder, and once he started getting more time last year our defense stiffened up greatly. His absence doesn't hurt us in this match, thankfully. Our defense doesn't allow the Baggies a single shot in the second half, and the match ends after the irritating but talented Claus Damgaard picks up a goal in stoppage time.

Man of the Match: Tonci Cirjak




West Brom 0-2 Wrexham



Their coach was doomed anyways if losing to us would push him off the plank.



I'm not quite sure of the logic behind this decision. West Brom are looking like sure relegation victims and have one point through 7 games. Tackleford City is walking the Championship and seem likely to get promoted. It's entirely possible, maybe even likely, that Ben Wharton takes the job and ends up in the Championship next year while his old team is in the Premier League.



Manchester United have a losing record, three wins against four losses. Part of that is from playing Arsenal, Chelsea, and us, but they already have as many losses as they had in any of the last three seasons.

Brown Manse, Wrexham
(October 5, 2026)

(WILL BROWN comes down the stairs carrying a DUFFLE BAG, looking around as if to make sure
no one else is there)

: Hey son, what's up?

(WILL BROWN startles, then turns around)

: I, uh, gotta catch the bus.

: Oh, I don't have to leave for Switzerland until tomorrow, let me give you a ride instead. I want to talk about the exciting news that one of your coaches said you had!

: About that...



(COACH grimaces, crestfallen)

: Oh. Well, I guess you have to make the choice you think is right...

: I'm sorry! I'm not American! I'd never even been to America until I went with you!

: No, no... it's ok. Do you still want a ride? I can change my flight to leave from London, it's no problem.

: Are you sure you're ok with this?

: Yeah, I will be. I'm proud of you.

(The two EMBRACE MANFULLY. Closeup on COACH's face, contorted with MIXED EMOTIONS)



We've got a glut of young attacking talent. If most of them pan out we're going to be both good and deep in the 2030 World Cup. Even if that's without my son...



Wasn't exactly referring to you, Woods. You're a weird guy.



We actually had five clear cut chances to their two. But we gave up three goals from corners in less than ten minutes, and there's no coming back from that. I'm going to finally modify our corner tactics now.



At least we beat Panama.



The Americans are an irrepressible lot, I'm surprised by how happy they all are at getting stepped on by a decent opponent and then defeating a bunch of chumps.

vs Crystal Palace, October 17, 2026
Premier League


Hi again Palace. You guys up for a repeat of our last encounter?

Starting Formation: 4-2-3-1 Control
Starting 11: Minami, Cirjak, Quiboulaz, Hammatt, Loseille, Laux, Damgaard, Mercado, Allan, Mujkic (c), Thiago.
Subs: Kocsis, Reed, Maloney, Bailey, Ünsal, Parr, Stringel.

The first half sees Claus Damgaard, playing as a central midfielder, juke his marker out of their boots and then beat the keeper one on one for the first goal of the game. Any hope of Palace getting back into the match vanishes when their defensive midfielder tackles Mercado from behind and earns his second yellow card. It's a convincing win, even if we only put the ball into the net once.

Man of the Match: Claus Damgaard




Wrexham 1-0 Palace



I wish I could ensconce him in bubble wrap and put him in a hyperbaric chamber between matches. It's not surprising he's getting tired, he'll have played about 70 matches by the end of the year on top of having played over 60 the year before. That's a lot of miles to put on his odometer, the surprising thing is how tireless he's been until now.



Say what?



You just got back from injury less than a week ago. How can you already be complaining about a lack of playing time?



You've got three years left on your deal, and I intend to get good value when we do sell you.



You too?



How can it be impossible to find a backup keeper who knows their damn role? I'm just going to start ignoring Kocsis if he starts asking for a loan.

vs Wolfsburg, October 20, 2026
Champions League, Group H


Wolfsburg is where Matthias Laux got his start, spending five years with their reserve side before breaking into the senior team as a backup before we purchased him at what's become clear was a bargain price of £6m. It won't be a reunion, though, he's worn out from the last game. The same goes for Thiago.

Starting Formation: 4-2-3-1 Control
Starting 11: Minami, Cirjak, Hammatt, Quiboulaz, Reed, Maloney, Ünsal, Parr, Shirra, Mujkic (c), Stringel.
Subs: Kocsis, Loseille, Laux, Bailey, Allan, Damgaard, Thiago.

There are those that say you can score too quickly in soccer. That's poppycock, and so I'm delighted when Parr puts us ahead in the first five minutes. Then Mujkic proves that Wolfsburg's defenders operate on Jurassic Park T-Rex logic, he stands stock still in the box for a few seconds, and the Wolfsburg defenders forget he exist. Stringel doesn't, passing him the ball for deposit into the net. Less than two minutes later Maloney wins a fight for the ball and makes an on target pass to Shirra, who takes one touch and then blows it past the keeper from the top of the penalty area.

The second half sees Shirra pick up his second by being in the right place at the right time when the keeper can't corral a Stringel effort, and then Parr gets his second from a Loseille cross to the far post. By this point it's just embarrassing for the Germans, and when Shirra scores on a free kick to notch his hat trick they've looked ready to get the hell out of Wales for the better part of an hour.

Man of the Match: The Golden Boy




Wrexham 6-0 Wolfsburg



The biggest surprise halfway through the Group Stage is Braga, who look almost certain to advance. The other surprise is that all four Premier League teams have won all three of their matches. You'd think that someone would be able to hold one us to a draw, but apparently not.

vs Brentford, October 24, 2026
Premier League


Brentford are in their seventh top division season ever, and only their second since 1947. Their last EPL appearance in 2017-2018 saw them finish dead last. This year they're looking much better, sitting in eighth place after a quarter of the games have been played.

Starting Formation: 4-2-3-1 Control
Starting 11: Kocsis, Reed, Hammatt, Laux, Loseille, Bailey, Shirra, Mercado, Stringel, Mujkic (c), Thiago.
Subs: Minami, Cirjak, Quiboulaz, Maloney, Ünsal, Allan, Parr.

For 20 minutes in the middle of the first half Thiago is a god made flesh. He scores four goals in that span, and the second one is something to behold. Taking the ball from behind the midfield line all the way up the field, he breaks the ankles of two defenders and then beats the keeper. His fourth is also nifty, a turn and shoot on a rocketed cross from the right side where he doesn't let the ball touch the ground. Brentford score twice late in the match, but we have the final word when Steve Reed hits from range.

Man of the Match: Thiago




Wrexham 5-2 Brentford



Wrexham has tied the EPL record for most consecutive wins, matching the mark set by Arsenal from February 2002 to August 2002.

vs West Bromwich Albion, October 27, 2026
League Cup, Fourth Round


We take on Chelsea at Stamford Bridge in three days, they're the only other undefeated team in the league. I'm resting several of our big guns for that. But not Thiago. You don't sit someone who just scored four goals in 41 minutes.

Starting Formation: 4-2-3-1 Control
Starting 11: Kocsis, Cirjak, Spyropoulos, Laux, Quiboulaz, Marquez, Ünsal, Mercado, Allan, Damgaard, Thiago.
Subs: Minami, Reed, Hammatt, Bailey, Brown, Parr, Pickee.

There's a Thiagoooool in the 15th minute, and I'm going to tell you something I've known for a while, I know what song his chant is based on. I've been hearing it in my head every time he scores now for a few months. I'm sure many of you remember Bailamos by Enrique Iglesias from the late 1990s. Well, try singing Thiagoooo in the same manner that Iglesias sings Bailamos in the refrain, and you'll be infected with the same ear worm I've been suffering.

We don't score again, though, and my hatred of one goal leads is reinforced when West Brom equalize in the second half to take us to extra time. Another 30 minutes of play is the last thing we need with our packed schedule. I make my final substitutions, including the unhappy Mitchell Pickee, at the end of regular time, and he quickly puts the ball in the net. Sadly, he was offside. So it takes until the 113th minute until Shahed Parr, who wasn't even supposed to be playing today, can finally put away the game. We dominated West Brom in their house at the start of the month, and the squad was clearly looking past them today.

Man of the Match: Thiago




Wrexham e 2-1 West Brom



A two hour long slugfest with West friggin' Brom was not what we needed three days before we play Chelsea.



Also, what's happened to Quiboulaz? He's entering his third significant stay in the trainers room this season. Quibz is vital to keeping the squad rested, he's the only senior team player who's naturally adept at playing left fullback other than Loseille, and his availability as a centerback allows Laux to play defensive midfielder.

At Chelsea, October 31, 2026
Premier League


A win against Chelsea could give us an eleven point cushion over the rest of the league if other results go our way. It's not going to be easy, Chelsea are the only team in the league who've allowed fewer goals than we have. I'm also forced to put Thiago on the bench, playing all 120 minutes wore him out more than he can recover with just two days rest.

Starting Formation: 4-2-3-1 Control
Starting 11: Minami, Reed, Tounkara, Hammatt, Loseille, Maloney, Ünsal, Parr, Shirra, Mujkic (c), Stringel.
Subs: Kocsis, Cirjak, Sadula, Bailey, Zouaghi, Moctezuma, Thiago.

“Shirra brilliance” shouts the television announcer when The Golden Boy makes a long diagonal pass for Mujkic in the middle of the first half. There's no one within 10 feet of Meteor when he takes his shot, and just like that we're winning. Chelsea hit back immediately, it's not as pretty a goal but it counts just the same.

I switch to the 4-5-1 shortly before the break as we haven't been keeping possession well, and we're very quickly dangerous on the counter. That's proven when Parr chips the keeper to put us back ahead right on the other side of the half. We can't hold it, though, as Reed gives away a terrible penalty in the 71st minute, and we're all tied up again. I bring on Thiago for Stringel, but he can't find net before time runs out. Both teams remain undefeated, and our winning streak comes to an end.

Man of the Match: Ed Hammatt




Chelsea 1-1 Wrexham



The draw doesn't stop me from adding yet another one of these. I think you could build a small home from the ones I've gathered over the years.



Check out the table, it doesn't look anything like past years. Arsenal and Chelsea are where you'd expect, a point behind second place. But look who's with them. Liverpool! And check out second place. It's Southampton! Not only that, look at the bottom of the table. The only one of them who you'd expect to be there is West Brom. Manchester City is still in the relegation zone, and even if they hadn't been docked five points they'd only be in ninth place. And the biggest surprise of all, Manchester United have a negative goal differential. There's a lot of season left, but things are going almost perfectly for us, and nothing says that more than a twelve point lead over Manchester United after just ten games.